If Grief + Shame Got in the Same Room…
Hosting and participating in the Grief Circles last year helped me release the shame associate with my grief. And now, I find myself in a new landscape, a territory I have yet to explore.
Here’s a poem I read from Grief Circle #11 as I navigate this new world myself, responding to the prompt: new beginnings.
IF GRIEF WAS SHAME
It would say,
Why are you still here?
Aren’t you over it yet?
When do you think you’ll move on?
IF GRIEF WAS NOT SHAME
It would say,
You will know when you are ready to open the windows
Something will tug on your heart
You will know when you are ready to shower,
to wash the bed sheets,
to talk to someone,
to write a poem,
to get back into action
if action is what you want
And you will also know
when you just need to lay down,
When sitting in a dimly lit room
will be the best rest you need
You will know when the flowers
are ready to bloom again
When you are ready to water the seeds
When you are ready to dig in your roots
IF GRIEF AND SHAME GOT IN THE SAME ROOM TOGETHER
They would say…
They would hug one another and say, I’m sorry. I’m sorry you feel that way, I’m sorry I made you feel that way. I’m sorry for what you are going through.
They might sit on the couch with one another and
Netflix and chill.
They might eat a cookie.
They might go on a hike.
They might exercise.
They might read a book.
Read a blog.
Phone a friend.
IF GRIEF AND SHAME GOT IN THE SAME ROOM TOGETHER
They would see one another and see that
There really isn’t so much to be afraid of
As there is so much to be present for
They might pat one another on the shoulder and say,
Hey you.
Because a season is not an identity.
And every season, and stage, and age, and period, and chapter
Needs a different story. Needs a different approach.
Needs a different plot line (maybe)
Because otherwise, we’d just be walking in circles.
And sometimes we do.
We might stop at 7-11 to get a juice box
Until we’re ready to walk again
into that room full of strangers
Because now we’re a little bit stranger.
But it doesn't mean,
we can’t be friends again.
Just
say,
Hi.
. . .
Prompts from Grief Circle #11:
Missed the event? The invitation: Write, dance, sing, poem, walk, ponder, create, art, etc. to a prompt that calls to you:
PROMPTS:
New beginnings
Underwater universe, planting seeds, and shooting stars
Loving, dreaming, & hoping again (a breath, a knowing, a mantra, an anthem)
*Special note for these prompts: While everyone's journey in grief is different, I suspect these prompts may be more relevant for those with an "older" grief. But each of us knows our journey best, so honor what feels wholesome for you. Leave the rest.
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