Why I started the Grief Circle

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Why I started the Grief Circles: I get this question a lot. Usually, I just say something about how it's because my mom passed away when I was younger. Tonight I gave myself 20 minutes to touch down into my heart and write about this question to see what's there.


WHY DID I START THE GRIEF CIRCLE?

I want people to have a safe space to grieve.

I want people to have permission to talk about the hard and difficult things, and to be able to share them through poetry or art when saying it directly is too hard. I want people to be able to share in the language of their hearts. I want there to be time,

time for these things.

I want it to be less hard — people's journeys with grief:

less hard,
less alone,
less heavy,
less scary,
less.

I want it to — not take 20 years.
I want it to — change generations.
I want it to change the way families live and love and talk for generations to come.

I want us (me) to get a chance at life, at happiness, at love. A chance to let people in in a safe way. A chance to share what is difficult and heavy and for it not to be met with pity or sorrow or the need to be changed or fixed or different or to have to be on the way to somewhere other than here.

I want a place where smiles don't have to be faked,
when what's behind them is heartbreak.

I want people to feel loved in all their heartache and darkness, when they feel submerged. I want people to know it's okay to be here. It's ok to feel this (much). It's ok to want to make space for it.

I want people to find healing, so they do not pass on pain.

I want people to feel that someone else thinks it matters this much too that that person is not here right now in the way they used to be.

I want people to feel like they have more than 10 seconds to muster up the courage to share what is heavy and already formulated on the tip of their tongue and replayed a hundred times in their heads anyways.

I want people to know that that love and belonging they felt really was that big and true and that what's here is completely different and it's not outrageous to feel lost and out of place without it.

I want that because I wanted all those things for me.
I want... all those things for me. For us.

. . .

It wasn't supposed to be this way.

And yet, it was. It is. And yes, it's a beautiful sunset. The trees on the way up were beautiful. But I wanted the sunrise. And the Hong Kong BBQ by the beach and the mountains, and I wanted it with you. I wanted it with us —


Upcoming Grief Circles

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